Pretty strange, coming from a ghost, don't you think?How did I die? You might ask. Then again, you might not. It doesn't really matter, because I'm going to tell you anyway.I was a geek when I was alive. I graduated high school with honors and my virginity. I left college with a degree and my virginity.I had plenty of money from my job after college, but I still couldn't get in a girl's pants unless I stole them off the clothesline. After a marathon weekend of watching downloaded porn, I summoned up the nerve to go looking for a prostitute. Unfortunately, my nerve deserted me as soon as I reached the disreputable part of town where the scantily clad ladies of the evening awaited on every corner. I went around the block about twelve times before I finally pulled over to beat my head on the steering wheel.I nearly pissed myself when someone tapped on my window. I looked over to see a painted lady with huge boobs staring into my window and smiling. "Hey, you look lonely," I heard her. "Johnny opened his eyes, and focused on the warm hazel eyes of the beautiful woman who kept calling him honey. Boy, he thought, she really looks like the Sopranos lady, only prettier."Good, we brought him back," said Bob in his regular voice, cradling his fallen comrade's head in his beautifully manicured and bejeweled hands.His voice seemed to bring the spark of recognition back to Johnny's eyes. This spark was followed by the same confused look the poor kid had a few minutes ago. Johnny's body went limp again as he faded back into unconsciousness.***Well that wasn't so bad, Johnny thought, the kids liked Pride and Prejudice a lot more than I thought they would.Another day of classes done, Johnny headed to the teacher's lounge to pick up his things on his way home. And then it would be off (well across the street actually) to Bob and Jill's for the party.Johnny laughed a little at the recollection of the day's events. He had never fainted before, and had to admit to himself that it.
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